A Voldermort Christmas Carol
by The Fruity One
Summary: A story of Voldermort, as he is haunted by three ghosts... and amusing version of A Christmas Carol. It actually ties in quite nicely with christmas in book 5.
1. The Ghost of Warning

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything relating to it. I do however own any characters you have not heard of before in the books. I also do not own Charles Dicken's "A Christmas Carol" it was my inspiration... thankyou Charlie.  
  
A/N: It occurred to me on a late Saturday evening that I, The Fruity One, was not quite living up to my fruity name. I decided I needed a little laughter spread. So then I heard an empty knocking on the hollow of my head and who would was it? Yes, it was a fan fiction all nicely formed, begging me to write it. Smiling I obliged, and so it entered the abyss and filled my mind with jokes.  
  
It was about time too, as my stories have only really been serious (to read them click on the authors link up top.) So here it is, I bring to you the story of...  
  
A VOLDERMORT CHRISTMAS CAROL.  
  
Chapter 1- The Ghosts of Warning.  
  
'Almost there,' thought the Lord Voldermort in his mind as he wandered down the halls of the Ministry of Magic. He reached with his hand for the black door, which would lead to the room of prophecies. Soon he would have his and Harry Potter's prophecy and he will be ever powerful...  
  
He sat up with a jolt. Damn. Potter had woken up, disconnecting himself from Voldermorts mind. Voldermort sat up from him chair with a frown. Exactly how many nights would it take for Potter to open the DAMN DOOR? With a sigh of exasperation, he visualised Potter skipping around with his little school friends enjoying a free life, while he Voldermort was stuck in a dingy little shack next to the garbage dump. It was midnight and he could still hear the rummaging of the garbage dump hobos, as they talked around the fire.  
  
Looking up at a calendar by his chair he noticed it was Christmas Eve. Bah humbug. It would be three hours before midnight summoning the horrid hobo carols for Christmas Day.  
  
He settled back in his chair, staring at the fire.  
  
Rattle rattle.  
  
He stood up out of his chair again.  
  
What was that?  
  
Rattle rattle.  
  
Again. He spun around to descend his stairs, but tripped over himself, remembering he had no stairs, an there was only one room in the whole shack. Bah Humbug. As he dusted himself off, he jumped back in shock. There drifting in an eerie way were the chained ghosts of the Potters, Lilly and James. Harry's Parents he had killed fifteen years ago. Great, now he has to kill people who are already dead.  
  
"Voldermort," groaned James, "Voldermort, VOLDERMORT!" He was stopped abruptly by a smack from Lilly's chains. "Quit moaning and get to the point you git," she grunted. Rubbing his arm, cursing and glaring at Lilly, James glided closer to Voldermort. "What do want?" asked Voldermort irritably. "We are the ghosts of James and Lilly Potter," chorused the ghosts. "Oh course you are! I'm not stupid!" exclaimed Voldermort. "Err... sorry," apologised Lilly, "I thought that since you've killed so many people you might have forgotten who we were." Composing themselves after the brief interruption they continued. "You killed us, and now we have come to warn you..." they rasped, "warn you of the visitors you will be having this midnight's eve." "Well, my transparent friends, you can tell them advance to go away. I hate visitors," said Voldermort with a huff. "Sorry, mate that 'can't happen," informed James, "It's a non-refundable deal you see. Kill one million people, get a visit from three ghosts." "Yes, you will be visited by the Ghost of the Past when the clock strikes twelve this night," sighed Lilly fed up of the scary act they had been pulling. "Err... ok..." muttered Voldermort with a note of doubt in his voice. "Well now that we've done our job, we'll be taking our leave mate," bowed James. "But before we go, I have something for you," smiled Lilly. She promptly floated over and kicked Voldermort in the groin, but being a ghost only passing through it. "Your just lucky I'm see-through jerk!" she shrieked indignantly, "That was for killing me." Grinning sheepishly James took another bow and told Voldermort to give his regard to Harry when he kills him.  
  
With that they were gone and Voldermort was left alone in his little shack, with the howling wind.  
  
A/N: So what so you think? Lame? Corny? I don't particularly care either way. I'll keep writing. Review and tell me what you think so far. I won't follow the Christmas Carol storyline entirely, that would be boring.  
  
Review please.  
  
The Fruity One. 


	2. 2 The Ghost of the Past

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or anything relating to it. I do however own any characters you have not heard of before in the books. I also do not own Charles Dicken's "A Christmas Carol" it was my inspiration... thankyou Charlie.  
  
A/N: Hello I am back once more! Do you like this story? Does it make you laugh? I'm not sure if this chapter will, because my sugar level is on low. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------- 2. THE GHOST OF THE PAST  
  
Bong  
  
Voldermort's eyes snapped open.  
  
Bong  
  
He sat up with a start as the clock chimed 10 more times. It was midnight. As the last chime resonated throughout the lowly shack everything went deadly silent, event the rousing chorus of garbage dump hobos signing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" silenced. Voldermort sat in the silence for a minute. Then several more. Nothing. There was no ghost. With a sigh of relief and satisfaction, he sank back into his chair.  
  
Suddenly the door swung open from behind him and a exhausted squeaky voice sang out: "Sorry, I'm late. Damn Potter had everyone panicking about Weasley being bitten by a snake."  
  
Startled Voldermort turned in his chair to see what looked like a tall fairy.  
  
She was wearing luminous pink robes, a glittering star wand in her hands. A mop of black shoulder length and rather lanky hair covered her face, revealing a protruding hooked nose...  
  
"SNAPE?!" shrieked Voldermort in horror, "IS THAT YOU?"  
  
"Err... no" babbled Snape in a nervous high pitched voice.  
  
After an awkward and accusing silence, Snape cleared his voice and began to speak in his bizarre girl-like squeaky voice.  
  
"Hello, I am the Ghost of the Past," he curtseyed, "I shall take you back to the past so you can see your first ever murder."  
  
Voldermort smiled curiously. His first ever murder, that took him back. He couldn't even remember who his first lucky victim was.  
  
"If I may," asked Snape reluctantly offering his hand, as if he was having an inner conflict. He waved his ridiculously elaborate wand.  
  
"Timus Pastus Portus"  
  
With those magic word, the room became a blur of magically seventies fluoro flowers, dancing with rainbows. Then Voldermort realised it was only the Teli-tubbies video on T.V that he was...err...accessing.... With haste he turned it off. As soon as that task was completed, Voldermort felt himself being lifted high in the air. Then he was falling, falling, falling... SMACK.  
  
He landed face first into the ground, whilst Snape landed elegantly on his feet. Spitting dust from his mouth, Voldermort raised himself as well as his eyebrows. He was in a children's playground.  
  
"Do you recognise this place?" asked Snape with amusement.  
  
"I don't know you tell me fairy boy," snapped Voldermort.  
  
"Hey I didn't volunteer for this you know!" snapped Snape in return.  
  
Voldermort concentrated on the park... it was his orphanage kindergarten. As he informed Snape of this briskly, Snape seemed to be struggling to stifle a laugh.  
  
He walked with Snape through the playground, amongst the squealing and giggling children, who were not even noticing their existence. An infant, chubby boy with short black hair was playing with a brightly coloured ball. His two blue eyes glittered as the ball returned to him loyally after him casting it to the ground. It was Tom Riddle, Voldermort's younger self.  
  
"He won't be able to see you!" said Snape suddenly in a dramatic voice, needlessly restraining the still Voldermort.  
  
Tom continued to play with the ball, laughing at the mystery of it. Simple things entertain simple minds. Voldermort's eyes keenly followed the balls progress, to the confused look of Snape. He was suddenly interrupted when the ball hit a stone and bounced away. Tom turned and ran after it as fast as his little legs could take him. As the ball tried to outrun Tom, it landed at the feet of a stocky, big gorilla-like boy. With a sneer he picked up the ball, and in front of the boys eyes popped it with his bare hands.  
  
"S' that yours?" he asked cruelly.  
  
With a pout Tom began to whimper. The gorilla boys smile broadened. In tears Tom raised his hands. "WADI WASI!!!" A spell shot out of his hands and hit the gorilla boy square it the face. Promptly a pink blur whizzed out of nowhere and shot up his nose. He recoiled clutching his nose, tears brimming his eyes. "Der's gumb upb by nosb" he snorted desperately at his friends.  
  
But no-one heard him as they were all too busy goggling the screaming Tom.  
  
"What's wrong ickle Tomikins?" asked a snivelling sly boy sarcastically.  
  
Without a word Tom turned at the boy.  
  
"ADVERA KEDAVERA!!"  
  
The boy dropped dead to the horrified squeal of the children.  
  
A tear met Voldermort's eye. His bouncy ball was broken. His poor little ball. He remembered it even though it was 50 years ago.  
  
Snape backed away slowly form the blubbering Evil Lord.  
  
Little Tom turned to the children. "Now brats listen up. Nothing happened here got it? The dead kid was attacked by Barney the dinosaur ok." The children gave each other suspicious looks. "I'll give you all some candy!" The suspicious looks turned into determined and agreeing nods. "Oh yeah, and if you want you can join my evil gang I'm startin' up. Called the Candy Eaters."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------- A/N: And there you have it the end of Voldermort's past. Short, yet amusing. I hope you liked it. Review and tell me what you think. Did you like this chapter? Did it stink like blue cheese? Let me know! 


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